Saturday, August 30, 2008

It's been a long week.....

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The title says it all....

Friday I left for Kelowna to go to my cousin's wedding, I also went major shopping at the Kelowna Mall. The wedding was on Saturday, which I helped set up for as well as help my cousin and her bridesmaids get ready.
The wedding was really beautiful, the service was perfect! After the main service the bridal party went to "The Grand" waterfront arena/park/beach to take photo's. I got one of me with Marsha's Flowers (Marsha was the maid of Honour, another Cousin of mine & best friend to the bride). I bought that dress the day before the wedding at the mall. It's really cute!!
After the picutres was the reception, which was really nice as well.
After Saturday, I stayed in Kelowna until this thursday because my parents were moving me and my sisters things. We stayed at my grandmothers house, which was crowded but not to bad. I got lots of my Lit. 12 work done.
When me and my sister got back we went right to our new house and helped moved a few things inside. Things still arn't set up yet, but the will be soon.
School starts on the 3rd! Im excited, yet sad at the same time....

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


Tuesday, August 19, 2008
My room's almost all packed up now.... It looks so empty... its depressing almost....

All my walls are bare, my desks are all cleaned off and my book shelf & closet are totaly empty....


Though I can't wait to move, I am also gonna miss this house too. Here I am alot closer to my friends, at my new house I'm going to be alot farther away....

Monday, August 18, 2008


Monday, August 18, 2008
Just got back fromt he movies! I went to see MAMMA MIA with my sister.

It was a great movie, and I bought the soundtrack right after when I was shopping for a notebook for my Lit. 12 class.

I have been listening to the soundtrack now since I got back like an hour ago. <3

There is a thunder storm going on right now, I hope the power dosn't go out!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Home... Finally...

Saturday, August 16, 2008
Well, camp was.... typical Army Camp...

Lots of Drama, lots of fun, lots of laughter, lots of friends, and of course, lots of tears (both of joy and sadness)

I'm not going to load any pictures onto my blog here, but if you have my facebook you can see them all there!

I got home ealier today, about 230pm. I chilled online then went for dinner with my family & helped clean part of our new house we will be moving into...

Its a scary house... an abandoned drug house but once its cleaned up it will be a very nice house. A little small for all of us but it will work, we'll make it work!

Don't really have all that much to write about... the final parade went prefectly... well it ran a little late and the sunset ceramony timing was off but that was just a minor detail that didn't matter to much. My sister came to watch the parade but I was not alowed to visit her after because she could not get a visitors pass.

I really need a full nights sleep....

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – August 13th

Well I have missed a few days….

So McIssac asked me to mess on the 6th, it was really cute. CI Boose told me I had to meet him in Couttes Common that evening because he had to evaluate me on teaching a private lesson. So I went… well in the middle of teaching my class I hear singing behind me….

“Bardsley won’t you go… Bardsley won’t you go…. Oh Bardsley won’t you go to mess with him…”

It was the Mill. Band CI’s singing a barbershop quartet! McIssac stood behind them till they were done. I loved it because it was so original!

Mess was on the 9th, after the parade in Penticton. We got back late… so we only had 20 minutes to get ready…. Which made a lot of the BRAVO and School of Music female staff very angry, but we made it in time… and I must say I looked very good for only having 20 minutes to get ready!
Mess went great! Dinner was good, not the best but better than mess hall food, and the dinner didn’t take too long. We had a really long dance, over 3 hours long, which was much better than last year’s dance… which was 15 minutes barely!

Sunday was Drum Head Service, which went a lot quicker than I remembered it. It was cold that morning so I was freezing… I was also starting to feel anemic… which isn’t good. After the service I took my sister out to lunch and went home for a little bit. It was very relaxing!
Monday was pretty boring….

Yesterday was a bad day…. I was sick in the morning, feeling very cold and exhausted because of my anemia. Well CI Boose sent me back to base to rest, so I slept most of the day…. After dinner was a sunset practice, then after that I was supposed to have barracks duty but Casy covered for me because the School of Music went out for our “end of summer dinner”. Just before we left though I got a nosebleed and add that on top of already feeling dizzy and sick because of my anemia and I nearly fainted a few times while getting ready. But the dinner went ok otherwise. We got back at like 11 and I went and took over for Casy.

This morning I was supposed to play for the company parades but I fainted this morning while getting ready. All I remember the trying to do my hair then I was on the ground with people calling my name and holding my head up. So I went to the MIR and they put me on bed rest but they let me come back to my barracks and take care of myself.

I just finished watching “Across the Universe” which is the most amazing movie ever! Wall maybe not ever, but it’s really good.

On another note…. I go home in 3 days! I’m sad I have to leave, but happy at the same time. Can’t wait to sleep in and have internet again…. But will miss everyone very much….

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – August 5th

Missed a few days… again… sorry! I’m bad at writing a lot when I am at camp… but it’s better than not writing at all!

Sunday was pretty boring… we had a parade in Armstrong which was short but still rather boring and annoying. After the parade I went and got my hair cut and went to my massage appointment. My hair turned out great! I love it! It’s not too short, it’s still past my shoulders, but it’s layered and looks really nice. My massage was heavenly! I was so relaxed after it was done.

I went back to base after the massage, but went back into town with McIssac and Chisholm for a little while after dinner. We pretty much just chilled for a while.

Monday was boring, be pretty much didn’t do much of anything all day. The morning we had to be at H10 but there were no course cadets so we just chilled till lunch. Well that’s not true, the CL cadets were there for like… 45 minutes but they just did mini band stuff and the school of music staff still didn’t really do anything. I spent the morning reading “Breaking Dawn”, which is totally amazing by the way!

Monday afternoon was equally as boring, we just did intake interviews because the new basics were here finally.

Today was ok; P&D staff had the morning off so we all slept in (w00t)! After lunch, it was just the CLI’s up at H10 so we just worked on the medley and went to war against CI Bone. It was hilarious. I also was reading “Breaking Dawn” lots today…. I cried twice while I was at H10 because I got to some really sad and touching parts… *cries*

I finished “Breaking Dawn” just before dinner…. IT WAS AMAZING! The ending was perfect, absolutely amazing! Now Woods is borrowing it from me so she can read it.

I pick up my Mess Dress tomorrow after dinner! I’m pretty excited! Also McIssac has figured out he is going to ask me to mess… and all I know is that it is apparently really cute. That’s all Byers will tell me, and that’s all I really want to know… I love suprises!

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – August 2nd

Sorry I missed a few days… not all that much happened till today…

So Thursday went pretty calmly… we had a basic grad practice in the morning then just chilled at H10 in the evening. Nothing else really…

Friday was the actual parade… then RSM’s parade in the evening. My back was really sore by the end of the day because I was basically on my drum ALL DAY! So intense… can’t wait till my massage tomorrow!

Today was pretty crazy! During the morning I went to the mall and picked up “Breaking Dawn” as well as all the other books in the twilight series so I have them all for my own keeping! Lots of people in the barracks are borrowing my books though. :P

Breaking Dawn is amazing so far! I won’t say much about it because some people may not have read it yet, even though this will be posted at a later date….. don’t want to ruin anything…

After lunch was Battalion Sports Day! I was working the “mat Carry” station with Baker. It was really wicked because I got to ride on the mat while the cadets carried me above their heads around a track of pylons. So amusing! Also for the first time in a long time BRAVO won a ribbon at the Sports day…. Well actually to be technical BRAVO 9 platoon (Pipes & Drums) won 1st in the Cadet Leader Courses and 10 Platoon (Rifle Coach) won 3rd in the Cadet Leader Instructor Courses. As usual though BRAVO failed hard core at the Tug-of-War… but that’s ok… all the staff teamed together and pulled the Commanding Officer’s old 1950’s military Jeep like 15 feet. It was amazing, and fun…

This evening was Company BBQ’s, which was fun…. Better than Mess Hall food anyway. After the BBQ’s there was a formal asking… only the second one so far and there is only a week until mess… not very encouraging huh? It was WO Brown being asked my WO Sanchez… it was so cute… she comes out of Headquarters and a staff is there holding a rose for her… while Uren played the pipes… then she walked down the street to where Sanchez was… along the way were roses lining the side of the road… it was adorable, Brown was SO embarrassed… I would have been too… there was lots of people there watching…

Also tonight there was supposed to be a dance but the dance co-coordinator decided to cancel it because supposedly there was “no one who wanted to go to the dance”…. Well that was a load of bull so we made our own dance by hooking up some music (which was a hell of a lot harder than it should have been…) and partied it up!

McIssac was there and we danced… well he sucks at dancing to fast songs but I was trying to teach him… it was pretty hilarious. Hanna danced with him during the slow song though L but that’s ok because guess who’s at camp now….. OG! So I danced with him at the dance for the slow song.

I’m glad to see OG though it’s a little awkward because he wanted to go to the mess dinner with me… but I wasn’t sure whether he would be getting back from his exchange before mess so I didn’t really think about waiting to see if he wanted to go with me rather than McIssac… but I’m glad I’m going with McIssac… he’s really cool too… and I know OG likes me and I don’t really like him that was so it’s a little awkward… oh well… what’s done is done…

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – July 30th

Today has been pretty good… again I had a bad wake-up call because I was feeling really sick and I have had a headache most of the day but otherwise it’s been great!

Found out this morning that Brandon might be going home on a Personal RTU… that would be wicked… I’d rather Steven (a snare that was put with ECHO because Brandon took his spot) to Brandon any day. Also Matt wrote his Memorandum to take me to mess today and handed it in. His “task” is that he must learn how to play tenor, or at least be able to do 4 flourishes… it’s because in his memo his three reasons why he wants to take me to mess are as follows (in his words):

1) My only alternative to Sgt. Bardsley is Sgt Ho and boys are just icky
2) Awkward silences are awkward… and there would be no silence between Sgt. Bardsley and myself,
3) Who isn’t amused by flying fuzzy mallets?

So hilarious! J That last one is the reason behind his tasking; Capt. Pratt was basically like “oh it’s amusing huh? Let’s see you do it then…!”
After dinner I was hanging with Matt and teaching him the flourishes that he has to do… he has to do a “single,” “Split the Feather,” “Butterfly,” and the “Pinwheel”. He has them all basically down except the butterfly… which is that hardest of the list.
Tomorrow is the basic grad parade practice (yes it’s that time once again!) so we have to play for that tomorrow morning… that’s going to be interesting because our base drummer is going on leave because his grandfather died a few weeks ago L
It should be an interesting day though… we also get paid at midnight tonight! J

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – July 29th

This morning was really retarded… I woke up late… my uniform was CRAP and I felt really sick… we were supposed to have this afternoon off… but the FOXTROT kids had to come up for their music orientation so the staff cadets had to be there this afternoon… though it was very interesting.

I spent most of the boring parts of the day explaining all of Sailor Moon to the girls. It was very interesting…. I was surprised they were interested… Dez was VERY interested… she was on the edge of her seat a lot of the time as I explained what happened in all the seasons.

Casy has been pretty upset today too… she found out her Grandpa died last night so she’s been crying on and off. I hope she will be ok L

Ok so at the moment Alex and Christy had to move their bunk around… of course they tried to just move the mattresses’ around rather than just remake their bunk… it just made more work for them…. So hilarious and so typical of them.

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – July 28th

Wow a lot has changed since Saturday! I went from having a boyfriend (with a few glitches) and a mess date to not having either to having a mess date again…. He’s not a boyfriend because we’re going as friends but that’s ok, he’s a cool guy.

So here’s the low down on the past two days…

Saturday I went to talk to Brandon… It didn’t go well and we broke up. So because of that I didn’t sleep well Saturday and had a bad-ish day on Sunday. I say bad-ish because it wasn’t too bad but it wasn’t that great either. I went to breakfast at Casy’s house with the Pipe Major, Dez, Christy and some others but I didn’t eat much and was in a bit of a bad mood. After breakfast we went to Davidson’s Orchards’, just Des, Christy, Casy and Me (and Casy’s mom of course!). After that we picked up some people from base and we went dress shopping! I picked out a great dress; its dark blue (midnight blue) with a white (Ivory) sash that goes across my waist and ties at the back… so I guess it’s more like a belt. Wither way I love it and it looks pretty good on me… or I think so… that others say it looks great too.

After that it was muster parade, and that went well. My mallets went to Seattle with Chris Boose, my instructor, by accident so I had to borrow an intermediate player’s mallets… that sucked because they didn’t fit my hands well and it was hard to swing but I managed. ECHO STAFF’s skit was amazing! So hilarious but that’s because they had Carpino to help and be in it. It was like a crocodile hunter theme but Carpino was “observing” the different courses on base. So hilarious, I loved it. GUARD’S skit was lame and made bad jokes at CSM Koute…. So yea, it was a really lame skit.

After the muster parade, P/M Uren had his formal asking for mess… asking WO Bushe. It was cute… he got the whole senior pipe band to march all around base herding people before he asked her. I can’t wait for my formal asking though I don’t think it will be that special.

Saturday night went well… we just went out for a little pizza… just Dez, Christy, Alex, Casy and me. That was the end of that. Well there was drama in the barracks but just really stupid drama that I didn’t pay much attention too… something about lesbians and jealousy and which bunks people slept in… not sure if it was all related but whatever…. It didn’t concern me so I stayed out of it.

Today was pretty good… was an average day up at H10 except Brandon refused to talk to me… but that was ok, I’d rather him not, As long as he stays professional. Mid morning I had to go help a GUARD class with a drill lesson… it was “March with a mechanical Aid” and apparently I’m a mechanical aid… well my drum is anyway. So I taught them about the cadence for a drum and how a metronome works… I also taught them a little about the different types of marching, like Highland and slow march and what there tempo was for each. After that I joined the rest of the band for drill until lunch. After lunch Hodge asked me if I wanted to go to mess with him as a friend… I said maybe and that I would answer him after dinner or later this evening….

After dinner Dez, Alex, Casy, Christy and I (I will refer to them as “the girls” for now on… to many names to repeat over and over…) went for a “rant session” over ice cream in Polson park… seems most of us had been having a really rough week… in different ways but none the less stressful and emotional.

After our rant session we did a little shopping… I bought hair dye to streak my hair, which I just finished doing… it turned out ok… not the greatest but it’s not horrible… it’s a pretty decent job acutely… Anyway so yea after that we pretty much just came back to base and chilled… that’s when I went over to the make barracks to ask McIssac a question…

I asked him if he wanted to go to mess with me as a friend and he said yes so that’s pretty sweet. I told Hodge I wouldn’t go with him… he’s a little sad but that’s ok… we’re just friends anyway. McIssac and I have been good friends for a while so we will have a fun time. Yu was hinting at us hooking up but I don’t know if we would or will… I doubt it… though he does only live and hour and a half away from me and we will probably be going to the same university in Kamloops… He starts at TRU this fall… I start possibly next fall…. Sweet huh?

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – July 26th

So I thought today went pretty well…

After sleeping in until almost noon, Christy, Alex, Des, Brandon and I went to the beach. It was lots of fun… and I didn’t get burnt! We went to Kal Lake Beach where they were also having the Vernon dragon boat races. I got an airbrush tattoo which looks really wicked. I seen lots of people I know there… and I called my friend Jesse… Turns out his grandpa has a brain aneurism and had surgery today… so that was a little sad…

We went to Earls for dinner, and then we went to an internet café. Brandon left back to base because he didn’t want to go to the café and he was in a prissy mood so I just didn’t care. I checked my e-mail and my face book and chilled for a while. I also saw my friend David there! It was nice to see him again. Turns out he has a job as a carpenter now and he is finally clean of drugs. I’m glad things are well for him!

After the café we went to star bucks then walked around Polson Park a little, taking pictures. Matt McLean met us there and after we left the park he and Alex went off alone.

So yea, now I’m back at the barracks chilling and loading someone’s iPod with music. But I have to hurry because Brandon is upset and waiting for me at Coutts Common…

He is upset because apparently he had a bad day L
It makes me upset because I thought it was a very good day but then he’s all like, “It was a crappy day…”

God I hate boys… they are so stupid…

I should go talk to him

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – July 25th

MERRY CHRISTMAS! It’s Christmas in July!

Barracks duty went well, and I actually got things straightened out with Brandon. So it’s been a much better day. I had the morning off until ten so that was nice. I took my laundry, made my bed and just chilled. It was a nice break from yesterday’s drama.

It was really hot today though, so I was like dying…. I also still am having stomach aches from eating too much and trying to make my stomach stretch from not eating much in MIR…

After dinner was entertaining… Cassy had one of her episodes but this time she had a sore throat so she was choking… so we took a nice little trip to the hospital. I escorted her so I got to skip out of the RSM parade…

The hospital was fine and dandy… we weren’t there to long, just a few hours. At least we didn’t have to wait in line, she went right in. I wasn’t too worried because she had only choked for a few minutes then stopped but was still unconscious until just before the ambulance arrived. So she was awake when we got to the hospital. After like half an hour I could go see her in the ER and she was doing good… mostly pissed because she hates hospitals and the guy who put her IV in was not gentle about it. So we talked and joked for a while…. Waited for her blood test to get done; then she was released so we went back to base…

We had missed dinner so I ran to Jim’s Pizza and got us pizza & pop.

Then Cassy, Brandon and me chilled at Coutts Common until the staff meeting then it was just me and Brandon for a while.. Now I am here!

So yea… a much, much, much better day!

VACSTC STAFF 2008 – July 24th

So quite obviously I have not written in my blog for a LONG time… well that is because there is no internet here that we have access too easily. Well technically I still don’t have internet access but I am starting to go insane and I’m just way to damn lazy to write it by hand… so I have decided to start writing stuff in Microsoft word and then copy it into my blog at a later date. So whenever this gets posted….. I did not write it “today” I wrote it…. Today! As in today…. The 23rd of July… not whenever this actually gets posted… And that goes all of the stuff that has the title “VACSTC STAFF 2008 – INSERT DATE HERE”.
Anyway... to refresh on the past 4 weeks of my life…

Pre-course was fun…..…but EXTREAMLY HOT and EXHAUSTING. I met lots of staff and got to know lots of new friends. Lots of people I already knew were here so that was good too. Pre-course (for those readers who have no idea what the hell I am talking about) is a weeklong… “Test” I guess you could call it… for all the staff. It’s when they decided where we are going to be places for the summer. It’s basically lots of getting our kit, interviews, and lesson evaluations and so on so they can see where we want to go and if we are qualified to be there. Lucky for me, all the school of music officers wanted me there so I did get placed where I wanted… Worrall and Rowe both got placed where they didn’t want as did many people…. I was really lucky.
So anyway pre-course was fine and dandy… I also meet this really cute guy during pre-course… he is a snare drummer in school of music (though when I meet him he was in the process of being transferred out of ECHO COY). His name is Brandon Gonzalez and we are (hopefully) going to mess together… I’ll explain the hopefully later…

Intake went really well, I had really easy shifts, mostly escort from the airport to the base and only a small half hour shift of actual intake and all I had to do was check baggage. So intake went by really fast… and soon it was off to H10 to beginning training.
Of course before we beginning training we have to test and interview all the band course cadets and see whether they belong in beginner, intermediate or senior band... that was a gong show… but at least it was more organized than last year… I was in charge of making sure all the pipers went from the holding room to the piping test room then to the theory test room all without getting lost in the maze that was call H10… it was interesting… I almost got lost there were so many people… and to top that day off… we only ended up with like 5 pipers, 4 snare and 0 tenor starting in senior band…. It’s not as bad now (we at least have a larger pipe section of about 8 including staff, 5 snare with staff and 5 tenor/bass with staff…)

So once we got that sorted out we started training. It went pretty well and went by pretty fast. We are learning a sweet medley… or at least we were but I think they are calling it off because it is way too hard for people to earn (refer to the fact that we have no one able to actually plan in the senior band….) Nothing really remarkable happened that is to do with me teaching… other than that. I have been mostly teaching basics because I’m a lot better that the level tunes (Song of the Glen & The Fairy Lullaby) that Sgt. Lai and I guess I have lots of patience apparently… (Yea I know WFT right?). Anyway, yea that’s what I do…

So outside of H10, life on base is fucking crazy. The first week was chill… BRAVO won the pennant for the first time since 2004 and for the first time since GUARD COY was made… they DIDN’T win the pennant for the first week! I really shouldn’t be so happy about that because school of music is part of TRG/HQ not BRAVO but that ok… I’m BRAVO at heart :D

The first weekend wasn’t so chill… there was the first staff dance and there was a lot of DRAMA between me, Brandon Gonzalez and Redpath…. Long story but basically… Brandon asked me to mess…. Redpath was jealous... she was causing shit and made Brandon upset at the dance and continued to cause shit all weekend… It all turned out pretty well…. There is still a bit of a rivalry between us but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was that weekend.

Ooooh Don’t think I mentioned about the CSM’s this year… Uren was a candidate but didn’t pass so he got Pipe Major and senior WO of School of Music. Most of the CSM’s this year are males so it’s like a reverse from last year… and funny thing… the only male CSM from last year is dating the only female CSM from this year… lol or what? The TRG/HQ CSM this year is Scott which is pretty cool… he is really sweet guy… strict but not like… insane… BRAVO CSM is Koutte which at first I was really pissed off because he is not a band person and he is really like insane hardcore…. But I guess that’s why the wont the pinnate first week huh?

Anyway so BACK to my crazy life here at camp….

Second week of training went by VERY FAST… I really don’t remember much of anything interesting happening… except CHARLIE COY won the pennant which made BRAVO a little upset… and guard VERY MAD which I find hilarious.

So the weekend between the second and third training week is when things started to go REALLY CRAZY…
Well technically it started in like the first/second week but it didn’t affect me… I’m talking about the Vernon Virus… AKA the Black Plague…. AKA the Stomach Flu… It started in GUARD then moved to FOXTROT then to DELTA and to CHARLIE… that’s when it hit BRAVO and it all changed for the worse…

Until it hit BRAVO none of the officers were really affected and only a few kitchen staff where affected… but on one weekend so much changed… over like 500 people were put into isolation over that weekend and the beginning of this week because of the stomach flu and they even had to close one kitchen because so many kitchen staff were sick. BRAVO shares barracks with the MCPL’s and SGT’s so when they got sick we all got sick also. And after we got sick all the officers started getting sick. They had to call in military medics from Victoria to help isolate and shut down half the camp. It’s getting better now near the end of the week but there are still lots of cadets in isolation.

I got sick Tuesday morning and went to MIR, I wasn’t puking but I have bad stomach ache. They put me in isolation for what they called “four hours” but I ended up staying until Thursday morning… I was NOT pleased. There were so many girls that we took over the whole MIR for girls alone… the males had to be putting into the staff canteen that they closed off to turning into an isolation/treatment center… It’s still being used as one… so the staff dance might be cancelled for Saturday… none of the staff are very pleased about that.

Today was just the worst day of camp like EVER!

Started ok… I got out of MIR w00t! But found out They took away all my clothes so I have to go down to B3 to get combats so I could go to work… that pissed me off alone… but NO it had to be worse because I had to fight with the B3 staff to let me have a pair of combats… it was SO STUPID…. Then I had to walk up to H10 alone (cries). To top that morning off, my Boyfriend (Brandon Gonzalez) was all “pissed” at me because I supposedly ignored him when I came up to H10 after getting out of MIR… I didn’t though… he was the first person I said hello to but then I have to do teach so I couldn’t stay and chat… so I have to leave him… so he was pissed…. It made me really upset... after lunch I wasn’t feeling well so that made my day worse thinking about having to back up to the MIR again.. (Which I refuse to do BTW… NEVER AGAIN will they trick me with their “it will only be 4 hours” thing….) So with my stomach ache I went up to teach, that went well until we had drill for the last 2 periods then my stomach was really hurting but I HAD to go so I did… then I found out the Pipe Major didn’t go just because he was feeling a little “moody”…. Man was I pissed…. So was a lot of the other school of music staff…

Dinner and beyond is a whole other story…

K so on the way down from H10 Brandon totally just ignored me, I tried to talk to him but he was all upset and pissed off and just would not listen. So I went to dinner without him, but he joined me, Devitt and Lai at the mess hall. I offered him a seat beside me, but he didn’t even say hello or anything and sat beside Lai instead… He didn’t even stay that long… he just ate a little then took off before I even had a chance to really talk to him…

After dinner I had to go pick up laundry and I seen him on the way so we talked a little and it seemed ok... I left to get ready for a meeting and we planned to talk again after the meeting. That all went ok but near the end of our talking we both started to get frustrated… it wasn’t going anywhere…

GOD so frustrating… you see he is upset with me because I “ignore him” “Cut him off when he is talking to me because I leave to talk to someone else” and that “I never spend time with him alone”… I mean I see where he is getting all this from, but that is because 1) He talks quietly and sometimes I don’t hear him 2) I have like ADD talking… I talk to one person and jump to the next before I even finish…. I do it to everybody… like EVERYBODY…. Most people realize that it’s just the I am but he takes it so seriously… 3) I do spend time with him alone, but I mean it’s hard at camp, we are not supposed to date at all at camp so it’s hard to be together to begin with… that and I have lots of friends & I like to be arounf large groups of people… its like a comfort to me.,.. its why I like cities and large crowds…. I don’t even have to know the people… I know I’m fucked up… and it’s frustrating because I try and try to explain this all to him but it’s like it just goes over his head.

So yea I’m explaining this all to him tonight… and I’m late for barracks duty and I’m just so frustrated and he says to me “Just go, you want to leave anyway, you’re going to be late” and he said it like… so hateful… like he was really upset and mad at me… so I just left because I was like breaking down and about to cry and I hate crying in front of people…. Especially guys I really like…

So yea, I was pissed at him… he was pissed at me… and we have been not talking all night and we’re both still not really talking…. We’re texting but it’s really getting us nowhere…

Anyway… that’s basically what has happened over the past 4 weeks….. There is probably a lot more but it’s really late now and I have to wake up early and to go work tomorrow morning…