Sunday, June 13, 2010

btw

Sunday, June 13, 2010
I can't get you out of my mind. I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how good you look when you smile, how much I love your laugh... I day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversation, laughing at funny things that you said or did... I've memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine and I wonder what will happen the next time we are together.

But I'm scared. I'm scared of what I feel and what I've said. I dont know how you feel about me, and it scares me more than anything... Sometimes you act like you feel the same way, but then the next minute you're not... You confuse me. I just get used to the fact that we will be only friends, but then you do that thing you always do, and its like I'm back at the start all over again. I don't know how much more of this I can handle.

I know I need to move on. Hopefully a summer apart will help things, but I'm pretty sure I'll just end up as head-over-heels when we see eachother again in the fall. Till then, all I can do is hope I can get my mind off you long enough to enjoy summer, and maybe, maybe, move on.

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